False Alarm

So there has been a slight change of plans…

I mentioned in my previous post that I would tell “Samira” how I felt and make some serious progress with my goal.  However, as I feared, a wrench has been thrown into the perfect set-up I’ve put into place.  I mentioned that Samira was supposed to be at a particular place at a particular time.  She had said she could make it, unfortunately something came up and forced her to cancel.

As I said, I was almost expecting something like this to happen.  It seems as if, whenever I plan something like this, it goes horribly wrong.  I suppose her canceling was the least tragic thing that could happen, but it does make things more difficult.  “Now what do I do?”

Speaking of which, since you now know what is not going to happen, I suppose I can let you know what was supposed to happen.  It seems a bit anti-climactic now, but there’s not much I can do about that.  :(

What I actually invited Samira to was my acappella group’s end-of-semester concert.  Yes, I am in an acappella group and yes it is a lot of fun!  Through a happy coincidence my solo was placed at the end of the concert as the show’s closing number.  Also a happy coincidence that the song I sing is John Legend’s “Refuge (When It’s Cold Outside),” a love song.  By having Samira attend the concert and sit in an accessible place, I was planning to walk off the stage during my solo and sing a verse specifically to her.

In my mind, it would have been the most romantic thing I could ever do.  I would have then followed up by asking her to dinner or something along those lines.  However, due to an unhappy coincidence, Samira must be somewhere else during the time of the performance.

It’s a shame because, despite my nerves, I was very excited about the whole thing.  She seemed pretty committed to attending too, which is the sad part.  However, when she let me know that she couldn’t make it, she seemed pretty upset about it.  At the very least, I thought, she actually wanted to be there to see me perform.

Our show is a one night only event, so there’s no chance for her to see it another time.  However, I have asked in light of the fact that she can’t make it to the performance, that she join me to another event.  I won’t be able to serenade her perhaps, but hopefully she will still enjoy my company.

Though I fear that my plans for tonight falling apart is a symbol for something greater, I still hold on to the possibility that Samira may be interested in being closer than we are.  The jury is still out.  Until then, I’ll just have to make the best of tonight’s performance without her.  :(

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December 11, 2009  Author: Street Saint   Posted in: Goals, Life Partner

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