Joyful Times!

Yesterday was a fantastic day and I’m feeling pretty good about myself.  As I had mentioned when I went back to the dating game, I was going to try a new strategy on my crush, Samira (not her real name).  I would get really close, and see how she would react.

Unfortunately, I didn’t necessarily do this.  I had some opportunities, but circumstances made it difficult.  In one instance, I purposefully chose to sit in a seat that would put me right beside her.  However, I had gotten up for a moment and when I returned someone else had taken the seat.  I didn’t want to make a fuss about it, since seating wasn’t assigned and I hadn’t clearly marked the seat as my own.

And though I felt a bit upset about that, I was otherwise having a good time.  Eventually, there was a moment when I was sitting down and Samira came and sat beside me.  She had chosen to sit pretty close, almost as close as I would have had I done my experiment correctly.  In a sense, she had done the work for me!  I knew she felt comfortable with me, otherwise she would not have chosen to sit so close.  I also made it a point not to seem uncomfortable with this.

I had also mentioned that I was trying not to get too excited about the developments that occur between Samira and me; however, I cannot help it anymore.  I’ve decided that I am going to allow myself to feel happy.  It may turn out that she isn’t interested in me at all, but I no longer care.  I am feeling so good now that I would hate to ruin my mood by thinking realistically.

This has been the kiss of death for me in the past, but I’m not concerned anymore.  It’s time for me to put myself  out on a limb and ask Samira out somehow.  I have a few plans in my mind; though, I am hesitant now to do anything.  Samira has been feeling sick lately, so now would not be the best time to ask her to do anything other than rest.

Perhaps, one day when I am not so nervous and she is not so sick and we are conveniently at the same place at the same time, I will ask her.  The more I think about it, the more I think I am making excuses to draw out the inevitable.  However, I don’t know how else to go about it.  As I have mentioned, I have never done this before successfully (at least, not entirely), so I have no idea what works and what won’t.

Looking back, it has been about a month and a half since I have been interested in Samira and I feel like that is already too long a time for me to be chasing the same girl.  By now I should know whether she is interested or not, and I feel I can’t say that for sure.  However, I also believe that someone else’s calculation for how long you should court someone has little to do with your own life.  There really isn’t a standard here, and I think that’s what bothers me the most.  I can’t know for sure if I’m doing anything right or hurting my own chances.

All I can do is the best I can do.  And this is the best for me, as far as I am concerned.  I suppose that is why I have been so happy with myself.  Though I may not be sure about anything, I know that being with Samira makes me feel great and that Samira aslo thinks a lot of me.  That alone is something to be pleased about.

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  1. Back to the Dating Game
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  4. Emotional Paralysis
  5. Losing Faith

December 6, 2009  Author: Street Saint  Tags: ,   Posted in: Goals, Life Partner

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